Its That Time of Year Again
It'south that time of twelvemonth again…
Hither'due south some laughs to get you through it.
So now that you're prepared for your staff party, I thought I'd better ready you lot for what comes next. Because if you thought standing around with a agglomeration of work colleagues pretending to be dainty to each other was traumatic, just wait till you have to do that same with people you're actually related to.
I know, I know! The 'trip abode for Christmas' is supposed to be a joyous occasion, a chance to take hold of upwardly with the folks and your siblings, encounter a few sometime school friends and say hello to the family domestic dog which incredibly is still somehow alive.
Well it's non. Your parents are happy to see you lot because there'southward been a slowly growing list of things they demand fixing that only you can fix (and don't for a second assume they're bothered to think their Apple ID), meanwhile all your erstwhile friends from abode now look at y'all with a good for you dose of skepticism, as if you've just walked into a military camp of bedraggled survivors in some kind of Mad Max'esque hellscape.
Oh and the family domestic dog? aye sure it's still kicking, but it'due south fat as fuck and doesn't fifty-fifty recollect you anymore, which is probably the about upsetting thing out of everything.
Anyhow, before you lot even get at that place, you've gotta get and sort out some presents for anybody, which y'all oasis't washed yet have you?
Allow's non forget the purpose of Christmas presents, again — if yous're assuming joy… You'd exist dead wrong.
No, the giving of presents is the physical manifestation of a kind of cold state of war fought among siblings. Who'southward going to discover the best gifts? who'south going to be the star of Christmas and attain 'favourite kid' status. Who'southward going to prove their apparent success by the worth of their gifts? Yeah, y'all tin can claim that this isn't a thing, but deep downwardly, downward at that place in the depths of your soul, you know it to exist truthful.
Anyway, forget all that, because the guests are arriving at present. Cousins and Aunties and Uncles and your old Nanna and some boyfriend of someone and why don't they have their own Christmas to go to? and now you've got to deal with all those conversations… you know the ones.
You know what's coming don't you lot? Information technology's going to happen about seven and a one-half minutes into the meal, once we've talked about the new couch and about who so-and-and then just got engaged to someone else, and what ever happened to their onetime boyfriend Garry who everyone liked? Didn't he become an player? And it'll be right about there, that the uncle that doesn't really have an stance on anything merely knows how to really get things going is going to have a big sip of vino, breathe with that slightly loftier pitched sigh and say 'What about all this Harvey Weinstein stuff eh'?
Are you prepare? you meliorate be. Because it's going to come up and I can guarantee people are going to Matt Damon the shit out of this and you're going to take to spend the next xx minutes explaining the nuances of #MeToo, Rape Culture, Victim Blaming and hell, probably the unabridged concept of a patriarchy and crucially, why it's problematic.
And past the time y'all're finished, someone will nearly certainly tell you you've ruined Christmas, but hopefully, just hopefully there's an impressionable young cousin that listened to it all.
Than again, there's always this choice:
And so the guests leave, and aye, everyone agreed to disagree and now it'due south just y'all and the folks again and 'permit'due south have another canteen of wine and watch a movie shall we' and you know exactly what Christmas moving picture yous desire to watch, merely after your twenty minute rant at dinner you experience like you've probably done enough, so you let information technology slide and… and well this happens doesn't it.
Never underestimate the speed at which a slightly drunk Baby Boomer will autumn asleep once yous sit down them in front of some moving images with respective sound, they're very much like toddlers in that regard.
Anyway, relish the film because that'southward about information technology until New Years Eve, but that'due south a whole other thing to deal with.
Liked this? You can observe more over at instachaaz, I also write other stuff, similar this.
Source: https://medium.com/@chazhutton/its-that-time-of-year-again-95cafdf7093
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