Free Funny Wanted Christmas Posters Sayings

Funny Christmas Poems

I love reading funny Christmas poems, they always give me a skilful giggle! Which to exist honest, we all need at Christmas when things tin be a little on the stressful side at times...

On this page you lot'll find:

Short and light-headed Christmas poems
Great for incorporating into Christmas card messages. I think my favourite is the "Snowball" poem... it'southward so cute!

Longer funny poems for Christmas
Too long to apply as Christmas card verses, only fun nonetheless. The "Puppies' Christmas" poem is actually sugariness.

Humorous Christmas song poems with youtube videos
Ever since I found these and watched the videos, I discover myself singing them as I become near the house, much to the amusement of my husband.

Short Funny Christmas Poems

Short & Funny Christmas Poem

Snowball

~ Shel Silverstein

I made myself a snowball,
As perfect as could be,
I thought I'd continue information technology every bit a pet,
And permit it slumber with me.

I made information technology some pajamas,
And a pillow for its caput,
Then last dark information technology ran away,
But start - it wet the bed!

Curt & Funny Christmas Poem

A Chubby Snowman

~ Anon

A chubby piddling snowman
had a carrot nose.
Forth came a bunny,
and what do you suppose?

That hungry little bunny,
looking for some lunch,
Grabbed that snowman's nose,
Nibble, nibble, crisis!

Curt & Funny Christmas Poem

Thank Yous

~ William Church

For your Christmas presents,
I thanks one and all.
For the big ones many thanks,
And fewer for the small.

Short & Funny Christmas Poem

The Funniest Face

~ Anon

The funniest face
looked out at me
From a silver ball
On the Christmas Tree!

At first I thought
Information technology was Santa'southward elf,
Merely I looked once again and
It was just myself!

Short & Funny Christmas Verse form

Once There Was a Snowman

~ Betimes

One time there was a snowman,
Who stood outside the door,
He wished that he could come inside,
And run nigh the flooring.
He wished that he could warm himself,
Abreast the fire, then reddish,
He wished that he could climb
Upon the big white bed.

So he called to the Northward Wind,
"Come and help me, pray,
For I'k completely frozen,
Standing here all day."
So the N Wind came forth,
And blew him in the door,
And now there aught left,
Only a puddle on the floor!

Short & Funny Christmas Poem

The Day Before Christmas

~ Anon

Nosotros accept been helping with the cake,
And licking out the pan,
And wrapping upwardly our packages,
Every bit neatly as we tin can.
We have hung our stockings up,
Beside the open grate.
And now there'southward nil more to do,
Except
To
Wait.

Longer Funny Christmas Poems

Longer Funny Christmas Poem

A Politically Correct Christmas

~ Anon

Twas the night earlier Christmas and Santa'south a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would respond to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Iv reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, past the Humane Gild.
And equal employment had fabricated it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and y'all know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were accounted dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-mitt smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was chosen "unenlightened".

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a cocky aid group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from at present on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or zippo for her.
Aught to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Goose egg that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for but girls and cipher for simply boys.
Cipher that claimed to exist gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or not-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the molar.
Goose egg that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not however forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball game, no football...someone might become injure,
also - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should exist passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa but stood at that place, disheveled and perplexed,
he but couldn't effigy out what to do adjacent?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
just you must accept to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the basis,
nix fully acceptable was anywhere to exist plant.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...fifty-fifty you!
So here is that gift, it's cost across worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on Earth."

Longer Funny Christmas Verse form

Puppies' Christmas

~ Anon

It'southward the day before Christmas
And all through the house
The puppies are squeaking
An old safety mouse.

The wreath which had merrily
Hung on the door
Is scattered in pieces
All over the flooring.

The stockings that hung
In a neat petty row
Now boast a hole in
Each one of the toes.

The tree was subjected
To bright-eyed whims,
And at present, although excellent,
It's missing some limbs.

I take hold of them and hold them.
"Be expert", I insist.
They lick me, and then run off
To see what they've missed.

And now as I watch them
The thought comes to me,
That theirs is the spirit
That Christmas should exist.

Should children and puppies
Yet show the states the way,
And teach us the joy
That should come with this day?

Could they bring the message
That'southward written above,
And tell us that, almost of all
Christmas is love.

Longer Funny Christmas Poem

The Boy Who Laughed at Santa Claus

~ Ogden Nash

In Baltimore in that location lived a male child.
He wasn't anybody's joy.
Although his name was Jabez Dawes,
His character was full of flaws.

In school he never led his classes,
He hid former ladies' reading glasses,
His mouth was open when he chewed,
And elbows to the table glued.
He stole the milk of hungry kittens,
And walked through doors marked 'no admittance'.
He said he acted thus because
There wasn't any Santa Claus.

Some other pull a fast one on that tickled Jabez
Was crying 'Boo' at little babies.
He brushed his teeth, they said in boondocks,
Sideways instead of up and down.
Even so people pardoned every sin,
And viewed his antics with a grin,
Till they were told by Jabez Dawes,
'There isn't any Santa Claus!'

Deploring how he did behave,
His parents swiftly sought their grave.
They hurried through the portals pearly,
And Jabez left the funeral early.

Like whooping coughing, from kid to child,
He sped to spread the rumor wild:
'Sure as my name is Jabez Dawes
There isn't whatever Santa Claus!'
Slunk like a weasel of a marten
Through nursery and kindergarten,
Whispering low to every tot,
'There isn't any, no there'south not!'
The children wept all Christmas eve
And Jabez chortled up his sleeve.
No infant dared hang upwards his stocking
For fearfulness of Jabez' ribald mocking.

He sprawled on his untidy bed,
Fresh malice dancing in his caput,
When soon with scalp-a-tingling,
Jabez heard a distant jingling;
He heard the crunch of sleigh and hoof
Crisply alighting on the roof.
What skilful to rise and bar the door?
A shower of soot was on the floor.

What was beheld by Jabez Dawes?
The fireplace full of Santa Claus!
Then Jabez vicious upon his knees
With cries of 'Don't,' and 'Pretty Please.'
He howled, 'I don't know where you read it,
Just anyhow, I never said information technology!'
'Jabez' replied the angry saint,
'Information technology isn't I, it's yous that ain't.
Although at that place is a Santa Claus,
There isn't any Jabez Dawes!'

Said Jabez so with impudent vim,
'Oh, yes there is, and I am him!
Your magic don't scare me, it doesn't'
And suddenly he institute he wasn't!
From grimy feet to grimy locks,
Jabez became a Jack-in-the-box,
An ugly toy with springs unsprung,
Forever sticking out his natural language.

The neighbors heard his mournful bleat;
They searched for him, but not with zeal.
No trace was establish of Jabez Dawes,
Which led to thunderous adulation,
And people drank a loving cup
And went and hung their stockings up.
All you who sneer at Santa Claus,
Beware the fate of Jabez Dawes,
The saucy male child who mocked the saint.
Donner and Blitzen licked off his pigment.

Funny Christmas Poems from Songs

Funny Christmas Verse form / Song

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

~ John Rox

I desire a hippopotamus for Christmas
Simply a hippopotamus will practice
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and savor

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't recall Santa Claus will mind, exercise you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door, that's the like shooting fish in a barrel thing to do

I can see me at present on Christmas morn, creeping downward the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open my eyes
To see a hippo hero continuing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Merely a hippopotamus volition do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, just then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him in that location and wash him at that place and give him his massage
I tin can run into me at present on Christmas morn, creeping downward the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up upwardly my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

Funny Christmas Poem / Song

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

~ Randy Brooks

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You tin can say there's no such thing as Santa
Simply as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She'd been drinkin' as well much egg nog
And nosotros'd begged her not to go
Just she'd left her medication
So she stumbled out the door into the snow

When they found her Christmas mornin'
At the scene of the attack
There were hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her dorsum

Grandma got run over past a reindeer
Walkin' habitation from our firm Christmas eve
Y'all can say in that location'southward no such thing as Santa
But every bit for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now were all so proud of Grandpa
He's been takin' this and then well
Run into him in there watchin' football
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle

It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' domicile from our business firm Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But equally for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig
And a blue and silver candle
That would merely have matched the hair in Grandma'due south wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

Grandma got run over past a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve
You can say there'south no such thing as Santa
Just as for me and Grandpa, we believe!

More Christmas Poems, Quotes, Wishes, and Letters

I promise y'all enjoyed my selection of funny Christmas poems! Here are some more than pages with Christmas card wishes and greetings you might like.

Christmas Carte du jour Messages
Merry Christmas Wishes (incl. funny)
Happy Holidays Wishes (incl. funny)
Christmas Quotes
Christmas Greetings for Cards
Flavor'southward Greetings & Messages
Christmas Poems
Christmas Funny Poems
Christmas Religious Poems
Christmas Prayers
Christmas Bible Verses
Kids Christmas Poems
Printable Christmas Cards
More Xmas Cards
Merry Christmas Images
New Year Wishes
New year's day Quotes
Happy New year's day Images

*Gratis* Printable Christmas Posters

Brighten your home with a gorgeous Christmas affiche. Choose from 3 festive designs.

Click hither to choose your poster

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